Staying in a Japanese Home

Staying in a Japanese Home
6/27

I mentioned last post that I was invited to stay a night in Kurata-sensei's home in Kamakura.  Here follows my record of my second stay in a Japanese home.

Omiyage
It is polite to bring omiyage, or gifts, when receiving a favor from someone (such as staying at in their home) or when returning from a vacation.  It's sometimes confusing, even with the internet, to navigate omiyage, so I thought I'd offer my thoughts and research.  Some tips and tricks that I've read or heard:

What to give:

• Good gifts are often hard to get in the recipient's area.  For example, if you're visiting from Oregon, bring someone a Willamette Valley pinot noir.  If you take a trip to Kyushu, bring back a local shochu.
• This brings me to my second point, which is that alcohol is a good gift.  Failing that, food will also do.
• Price was tricky to find information on.  One source said more than $10, and less than $50.  Be careful about giving expensive gifts, because this may create an obligation to reciprocate.

Etiquette

• Don't give people of different social standing the same gift.
• Omiyage are usually wrapped, preferably in paper or a bag from the store in which you bought them.  Failing wrapping paper, a gift bag will do.
• Don't give four items as a single gift.  The Japanese for 'four' (shi) sounds like death (shin), and people will interpret the gift as an implied invitation for them to take a full-bodied interest in horticulture.
• Sets of two are considered lucky.
• Try to give the gift in private.
• When giving the gift, it is extra polite to understate the value of the gift.  In any case, identify it as an omiyage, bow, and present with both hands.

One last note is that the value of the gift matters less than the gesture.  Giving a gift shows that you're trying to observe Japanese culture and will try to be a good guest.  That the hosts are doing you a far bigger favor by letting you stay doesn't matter.

Footwear
Yes, indoor footwear is complicated enough that it deserves its own section.  Many readers, especially East Asian, will be unsurprised to read that one wears slippers indoors.  At the entrance to a Japanese home there is generally an area for taking one's shoes off and putting on slippers; this area is often well-defined because there is a step up to enter the rest of the house.  Kurata-san provided me with slippers, but I brought my own just in case.  When taking off slippers, leave them with toes pointing away from the door to allow for easy re-entry.

The practice of changing into indoor shoes isn't limited to Japanese houses.  It's pretty common in schools to change into slippers or dedicated indoor shoes before entering the building proper.  At Toshidai, there are a few areas, such as indoor exercise areas and some older classroom areas, where changing is asked.  For this reason, when visiting Japan, it's best to bring shoes that are easy to slip on and off.

Other rules: don't wear your slippers on the tatami (we'll get to tatami shortly).  Socked and barefoot are both okay in the tatami room.  Also, some houses will have dedicated slippers for the toilets.

Bathroom
Japanese bathrooms are usually separate from the toilets.  This is because Japanese bathrooms are like personal awesome water parks.  I would include a picture, but I think that might be an invasion of privacy.  They probably wouldn't mind (the bathroom is of course pristine), but better safe than rude...  Instead, here is a picture from google images.

A "typical Japanese-style bathroom" (my exact search terms).  The format of the bathroom in both houses I've stayed in has been almost identical.

You will note several features about the bathroom above.  Firstly, there is no shower curtain, nor is there a stall.  Observe the grille next to the bath.  Yes, the entire bathroom is indeed one enormous shower.  You could comfortably fit four screaming kids in this shower, and still have room for water guns and a tired parent.  The floor is at a gentle slope so that water will drain into the grille.

Japanese baths are also different from their western counterparts.  They are especially deep, and come with an insulated cover to like the one shown in the picture.  The cover is important because it keeps the water hot for the entire family, who will use the same bathwater.  Standard operating procedure is to wash oneself in the shower before entering the bath; when visiting a Japanese home, don't get in the bath dirty or soapy.  Also, visitors are customarily invited to bathe first, so don't drain the bathwater.  Remember, the entire family uses the same bath.

Japanese may use the bath to relax, and I've heard that the last person may bathe for an hour or more with a good book (or smartphone).  However, I didn't want to inconvenience the Kurata family by taking too long, so I showered and dressed before the bath was filled.

Tatami
The tatami room has existed in Japanese homes for thousands of years.  Historically, most Japanese homes during shogunal eras were single-room affairs, with screens to divide the room into smaller private partitions.  Even after the advent of modern construction, many Japanese houses, especially larger or wealthier ones, will include a traditional tatami room.

Tatami are large rectangular straw floor mats of about a yard along the short edge and twice that along the long edge.  Interestingly, while the lengths are standardized, the standard differs by region.  There are at least three standard lengths of tatami, which differ by less than ten centimeters.

My sleeping arrangements in the tatami room.  You'll forgive the mess; I rolled out of bed to take this photo and then rolled back.  Notable features include the tatami themselves, the alcove, the paper screens, the futon, and the desk.

Because the length and aspect ratio of the tatami are standardized, a Japanese home's tatami room will come in any of a few dimensions.  I think this room uses a pattern of eight tatami, but I didn't check.

Note a few features of the room.  First, the futon, a dense floor mattress that is really comfortable.  Next, the paper walls.  Visitors staying in a tatami room would be wise to go to bed early; not only do many Japanese rise early, but the screens don't really stop sunlight, so good luck sleeping past seven anyway.  Finally, the alcove, distinguished by a raised table and a short partition made by a pillar of precious wood.  Traditionally, this alcove will be decorated by a Japanese painting or calligraphed poem, and the table may be occupied by a small family shrine or a Japanese flower arrangement.  Tatami rooms will traditionally incorporate each of these elements, so look for them if you're lucky enough to visit a Japanese home!